Stewarding the Single Season

by Jalexus McClendon

One day, after driving my car through my local car wash for a much-needed cleaning, I pulled up into a vacant parking spot to use one of the vacuum hoses. I hear my son say, “wow mommy, look at that car! I want one of those when I grow up.” I looked to my left and there is this beautiful blue Chevrolet Camaro. The paint appeared to be glistening as the reflection of the sun rays bounced off of it. I just knew that unlike me, the driver had purchased the more expensive wash with the wax because my car was not shining like that! Anyways, I replied “That is a very nice car son!” I then proceeded to exit my vehicle and start vacuuming my back seat. I started on my son’s side and wasn’t surprised when I opened the door and he met me with a handful of trash. He lifted his feet up and I vacuumed the remaining candy wrappers and left over french fry crumbs that were on the floor. I told my son; “You have to start taking better care of mommy’s car before you even start to think about that super nice Camaro over there!”  As I walked over to vacuum the other side of the backseat, the sound of music caught my attention. There was a young man beside me bumping his music as he dried his car off with a green terry cloth. He was so happy! I caught myself staring at him as he took the time to dry off what appeared to be every drop of water that was on the car. He opened his trunk and pulled out different type of cleaners. He wiped down the interior of his car, as well as sprayed some tire shine on his wheels. I think the real reason why I was in awe at just how meticulous he was while cleaning the car was because of the type of car he had. This brother was driving what had to be about a 1999 Toyota Camry. I only knew this because it looked almost identical to the model of the champagne colored Camry that my grandmother had for years!

          What I had witnessed was not just an immaculate cleaning job, but what I saw was this young man steward very well over what he had. According to Webster’s Dictionary the word steward is defined as follows: the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one’s care. It may have not been the newest or nicest car, but it was his and he took the time to take care of it. This made me think of how well I manage seasons in my life and more particularly the season of singleness that I am currently in. Am I being a good steward over this current season? Or am I busy looking to my right and left hoping for what someone else currently has? Am I handling this season in a manner that I’m careful to keep myself clean, or do I have crumbs and remnants of past experiences that I have yet to address and clean up? Am I focused on what God has given me now or are my eyes on what I feel is the next best thing in the form of a relationship?!?!

Paul provides an answer in 1 Corinthians 7:35: “I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord” (NIV). God’s decision to make me single for a season is not meant to hurt me, hinder me, or hold me back. God knows that I have the desire to be in a relationship and ultimately married again, and for the last time may I add. I can trust that my Heavenly Father knows best and that perhaps He has ordained this season of singleness because He wants to champion something in me. Naturally at times we have a habit of downplaying the advantages of our particular season in life, yet we can amplify the benefits of another persons. I’m reminded of my son’s dirty back seat and the statement he made. He did not say that he wanted the car tomorrow but instead he said he wanted the car when he grows up. As I stated earlier, Father knows best and that means He knows when I am ready for what is next. My single season is not meant to be looked at as a detriment but instead a season of development. This season is working for my good as long as I continue to put God first and make Him my priority.  When you have God as a source of life, you can become a source of life to others. They will reap the benefits of the fruit you bear. But if I am disconnected from the source of life, I risk no longer being a source of life to others but instead I can suck life out of someone else. I can be tempted to use others for validation, rather than looking to God for his acceptance. This is one of many ways that toxicity exists in relationships. I do not need to look for anyone to fill up my love tank, because I find abundance in God. When we truly grasp and understand this truth, we can enter the world as a giver rather than a taker. I have heard this phrase and firmly believe in it “Love embraced becomes love extended.”

God is Love according to 1 John 4:16. My purpose is to pursue him. If I am not spending these unmarried moments of my life in passionate pursuit of my Creator, then these moments may be filled with frustration. I’ve come to fully understand that this season is for undistracted devotion to the Lord. I am where I am today because God allowed it to happen. God is not surprised by my singleness and has ordained this time for me. I was a part of a Singles Ministry before and our trademark was Single, Saved, and Satisfied. To be satisfied is to be content. Oxford Dictionary defines content as a state of peace. The secret to contentment is holding on to the belief that Jesus is enough and to rest in the love of the Father. I will not spend this significant season allowing the world’s standards to flood my mind with images or thoughts that cause me to dislike where God has currently planted me for divine development. I am Single, Saved, Satisfied and I vow to steward this season well.